Silent Fears
by Wonderous-Dreams1997
Summary: Jennifer Renee finds herself in the small town of Derry after a family tragedy. With being hearing impaired Jennifer thought it was better to not speak and be alone without friends instead of being made fun off for her differences. But in the summer of 1989, Jennifer finds herself being lucky number eight in the Loser Club with a killer clown stalking their every move.
1. 1988-1989

Disclaimer: I do not own the film/or book IT, that belongs to Stephen King. I only own any oc's mentioned in this story.

A/N: (Revised: 5/17/2020) This fanfiction will use things taken from the book/mini-series and the 2017/2019 version. Also if you want to picture someone for Jennifer Renee her face claim is Millicent Simmonds and her older brother Johnathan's face claim is _Jake Gyllenhaal_.

_If you want to follow my Tumblr blog for all things IT and my oc Jennifer with edits and asks questions about her it's called we-all-float-ocs or my other oc blog called guardiansofheroes._

Warnings: This will not be a family-friendly story for obvious reasons, there will be gore, death, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, child abuse, homophobia, and suicide. I put a trigger warning like down below before any chapter warning what it will entail so please be warned before reading.

_!Trigger Warning!_ This chapter mentions suicide/hanging

* * *

_September 1988_

It was a quiet afternoon, at least quiet enough for a girl named Jennifer Renee. She was kneeling down in the grass trying to find a four-leaf clover, her hands, and knees covered in dirt as she counted the petals quietly under her breath. Her older brother Jonathan always told her that they were magic for luck. She let out a deep sigh of disappointment as her hands limply placed in her lap. But suddenly a hand reached out and was placed on her shoulder from behind. Jennifer let out a yelp and quickly turned her head to look behind her.

"Jonathan...It's you..." Jennifer murmured with a deep breath of relief as Jonathan grinned softly at her as he sat down beside her. He was still in his work clothes. Jonathan worked at an auto shop full time to help his family through bills, bills such as Jennifer's medical ones from her surgery. Jennifer could smell the oil-stained on his clothes.

"Sorry..." Jonathan said with a soft chuckle as he ruffled her head.

" But you might have heard me coming if you put it on..." Jonathan said matter of factly as he gestured to the side of his head.

Jennifer glanced away from him and towards her cochlear implant device rested on top of her backpack before glancing back at Jonathan guilty.

"...It still feels weird...It's uncomfortable...and it makes me look different..." Jennifer murmured as she looked away and back down to the ground.

Jonathan looked at his younger sister with a soft gaze before he smiled a little, reaching over her and picking the device up carefully from the backpack. "...I bet...if I could switch ears with you I would, but unfortunately, I can't..." he said as he gently grabbed her chin with his free hand and turned her head to look at him.

"But this was a lot of money and your hearing won't get better...it'll get worse and these are the only things that will help you, you have to wear it more so you'll get used to it...just like riding a bike!" he said with a grin as he helped Jennifer place the device on the side of her head and put it around her ear.

As Jonathan switched the device on, Jennifer cringed slightly from the sudden ring from the implant but started to relax as it faded away. Her eyes met Jonathan's face and she couldn't help but smile back at him as she heard the birds chirping. Her eyes lit up from the sound and looked up at the tree, seeing a mama bird feed her babies.

"I can hear the baby birds..." Jennifer said with a happy smile as Jonathan watches with a fond smile.

"Jenny..." he called out to her and Jennifer turned her head to look at him and saw he was holding a four-leaf clover out for her.

Jennifer let out a soft gasp and smiled brightly as she carefully, but excitedly took the clover from him. "How do you always find them?!" she asked in amazement.

"It's a secret...I'll tell you someday when you are older," Jonathan replied with a wink.

Jennifer huffed slightly"...that's stupid..." she muttered, making Jonathan chuckle in amusement, but then Jennifer remembered something and quickly dug into her backpack, pulling out multiple books of learning sign language that she had taken out from the library earlier.

"Do you want to learn this with me, Jonathan? Then we can always communicate no matter what happens!" Jennifer said excitedly, looking over at him with a soft grin as Jonathan picked a book up, examining it slightly before looking back at her with a soft grin.

"Of course...now let's see where we can start" he said brightly as he started looking through the book again.

Jennifer could have always counted on Jonathan to be there for her, he took care of her, more so than their own parents. Jonathan had been the one to save money up to take her to the doctors where she was diagnosed with sensorineural hearing loss...he was the one that quit school to work full time to get her the surgery for the cochlear implants.

But little did she know that Jonathan would end up leaving her that year...

* * *

June 1989

_ . Tick._

Jennifer was just watching the school clock hands go by slowly, she was just waiting to finally get school done and over with for the summer. Though in all honesty, she didn't know what to do, she didn't really have any friends to hang out with...at least not anymore. There was this one boy...the only friend she had made in Derry when she first moved here five months ago. But he didn't want to speak with her anymore.

The reason why she had to move was because of Jonathan...he had died seven months ago.

Jennifer had found her older brother in his room, a rope tied tightly around his neck from the ceiling fan. The chair knocked over on the floor while his neck had twisted in an awkward angle, his skin pale, purplish lips, dried saliva on his chin, and dried tears that had streamed down his cheeks.

_Ring!_

Jennifer jumped slightly from the sudden loud shrill sound, the sounds...especially really loud ones bothered her hearing device. The loud overwhelming chatter of her classmates rushing out the door for summer vacation certainly didn't help either.

Jennifer wasn't really all that excited about summer vacation because that meant trying to find something to do to avoid going home to her parents...and her neighbor, Henry Bowers.

If Jonathan was still alive there would have been no way in hell he would have let Jennifer live near that family...he would have taken her far away. But that was only fantasy now.

Jennifer got up from her seat and picked up her sign language books she carried around with her now. It was the same library books she had taken out months ago...before Jonathan died, she hadn't returned them and Jennifer probably never will.

Jennifer let out a small grunt as she accidentally collided with a classmate, her books tumbling out of her hands, and the classmate's papers scattered over the floor.

"O-oh s-sorry," a familiar stuttering voice said as Jennifer turned her head and saw it was the infamous stuttering Bill. Or in politer terms, Bill Denbrough.

Jennifer already knew about him shortly after moving to Derry, she heard about his little brother's gruesome death. How some psychopath ripped little Georgie's arm off like a wing off a fly.

It was the talk of the town when her family moved in, but Jennifer dealt with the same thing after her brother died. But worse.

People kept vandalizing their home...writing horrible words about Jonathan and just tormenting them out of town, but Bill didn't have to worry about that part and he had good friends to help him through this on top of that so he was luckier in that sense then she had been. Jonathan had been her only friend but with him gone she had no one and then she moved to Derry and met Mike, but he didn't want to be around her either.

Jennifer looked at Bill, flushed with embarrassment, words being caught in her throat. She wasn't very good at speaking with others with sudden situations like this, but her constant rereading from the sign language books made her automatically reply with the signs, _"it's okay."_

But Jennifer felt stupid after, why would he know sign? He had no reason to. She got on her knees and started to quickly gather her books while Bill started gathering up the scattered papers.

"What are those books? Some secret handshake type shit?" A loud familiar voice spoke out.

Jennifer quickly looked up startled and saw Richie Tozier, one of Bill's friends, the class clown.

Richie was a tall lanky kid with thick glasses and had a tendency to never shut his mouth.

But Jennifer knew that Richie didn't ask this question to degrade her, during her time in here in school she noticed that he had made many crude jokes, did stupid jokes, and got himself in trouble because of his mouth.

However, Jennifer felt overwhelmingly embarrassed by the question and didn't know how to answer it.

"Shut up Richie!" hissed another voice and smacked his arm hard.

Jennifer glanced over to see Eddie Kaspbrak, he was another one of Bill's friends. He was a smaller kid and seemed to use an inhaler a lot.

She felt grateful for the quick rescue Eddie had given her but Jennifer still felt awkward and wanted to get out of this situation before anything else was said and gathered up her books before rushing out of the classroom.

Not knowing she had forgotten one of her books in the mix.

Jennifer's face was flushed as frustrated and embarrassed tears started to well up in her eyes as she rushed down the hallway, bumping into other kids along the way.

She was frustrated because she didn't know how to talk to others, to make friends...all Jennifer knew was being bullied for the way she sounded, the way she looked, and the things she liked.

She wondered what it would be like to have friends like Bill's, someone who tells jokes to make her smiles like Richie, or someone to stick up for her like Eddie. People she could count on and have fun with.

A friend like Mike, he had always managed to make her smile and made her feel safe.

Jennifer felt more tears slip down her cheeks and started to rush to the bathroom trying to stop the tears.

She needed to splash some water on her face and calm down. Jennifer thought that the bathroom would be empty from students rushing out of the school to get started on the summer fun, but as soon as she walked in Jennifer realized how wrong she was.

Jennifer ended up bumping into Greta Keene and her snobby pack of dogs.

"Watch where you're going retard!" Greta hissed and shoved Jennifer down to the bathroom floor.

Jennifer grunted as she hit the floor, clutching the books to her chest protectively. She noticed instantly that her skirt became wet.

"Guess there's more than one piece of trash here," Greta said with a laugh with a few giggles from her friends before all of them left the room.

Jennifer looked down at her lap in shame as the whole bathroom floor was wet and her nose scrunched up in disgust from the smell of wet garbage hitting her nose.

"Hey...you okay?..." a soft sweet voice asked,

Jennifer looked up as the bathroom stall door opened, revealing Beverly Marsh holding a drenched backpack.

There were no secrets about the rumors surrounding Beverly, but they were just rumors...started by spiteful jealous girls like Greta Keene.

But Jennifer couldn't help but look worried about Beverly doing something back at her as she started walking towards her.

"It's okay...I don't bite...much" Beverly said with a soft playful grin and a wink as she held her hand out to her, to help her up.

"Thank you..."Jennifer said quietly with a small smile as she took Beverly's hand with a free one. Their hands clutching onto each other in a strong grip/

Beverly's eyes widened in surprisement but grinned softly as she helped her up.

" So she does speak...I'm Beverly Marsh" she said with a playful grin as Jennifer's face flushed a little and nodded while shifting the books comfortably in her hands.

"...I know that because we're in the same class...Social studies?" Jennifer replied while looking at her.

"Oh yeah...Jennifer!... is such a dick to you" Beverly said as she nodded.

was Jennifer's social studies teacher, he didn't think anything was wrong with Jennifer and ended up yelling at her a lot for not paying attention in class but in reality, she just wasn't hearing him or understanding the material. Jennifer was too nervous to even stick up for herself against the man.

But Beverly had, once when was starting to make her cry by humiliating her in front of the class again. Beverly had gotten up from her desk and went up to and called him something along the lines of a "shriveled up sad old man" and a few other words Jennifer wouldn't want to repeat. She remembered that Beverly had walked out of class that day, not knowing if she got in trouble afterward. But didn't bother her for at least a whole week.

"...Yeah, I don't really understand him well because of my hearing problem..." Jennifer admitted shyly.

Beverly nodded in understanding "So is that what your thing on your head is for?...if you don't mind me asking?' she asked in curiosity.

"Ah yeah...it's called a cochlear implant, it helps me hear...but Sign language is easier for me..." Jennifer explained with a shy smile.

"...Sign language?..." Beverly asked curiously and interested as she looked at Jennifer.

"It's a way I can communicate with others who know it with my hands or other movements, like facial expressions or postures...a way I can speak to others," Jennifer said as she looked down at her books briefly before giving her one of the books she was holding.

"_A Basic Course In American Sign Languag_e..." Beverly read out the title before looking through some of the pages, intrigued.

"...Yeah, I already read through it multiple times, so I know the basics..." Jennifer said softly as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear. Looking down at the wet floor, she noticed some drenched rolled up pieces of paper towels by her shoes.

"This is amazing! Is it hard to learn?" Beverly asked looking up from the book with amazement and fascination in her eyes as Jennifer looked up meeting her gaze.

Jennifer never really thought of helping someone else learn sign...the only ones she had before were Jonathan and Mike. It would be nice to communicate with someone else, maybe have a friend again.

"...It's not that hard once you get the basics, it's honestly quite easy...I-I can help you if you want?" Jennifer offered shyly, fitting with the bottom of her shirt, a habit she did when she was nervous.

Beverly seemed surprised by the fact someone wanted to hang out with her, she wasn't exactly a popular girl to hang out with. But she smiled kindly and nodded."Sure, you can teach me over the summer, I'd love to have secret conversations" Beverly said with a playful wink.

Jennifer felt a huge smile spread on her lips, she felt a mix of emotions but mostly excited because she had plans with someone over the summer and she wouldn't be alone entirely.

"...Awesome..." Jennifer replied with eyes bright with excitement. Beverly and Jennifer then exchanged phone numbers and plans to get together before starting to part ways.

But as Jennifer started to go the opposite way she looked down at her books in her arm before looking back at Beverly's retreating figure.

"Beverly, wait!" Jennifer called out and rushed back over to her as Beverly turned around.

"Here..." Jennifer offered with a small smile, handing Beverly the sign language book she was looking through earlier.

"I already read this multiple times, you can borrow it for now...if you want?" Jennifer said with a small smile. Beverly looked down at the book in surprise before looking back up at her with a smile and taking it.

"Thanks, Jen I'll take good care of it...Do you want to walk home together?" Beverly offered with a kind smile.

Jennifer shook her head from the offer" no thanks, I have to go to my locker and get my things...see you later?" Jennifer said with a small smile.

Beverly nodded" Of course! See you later alligator" Beverly said with a wink before turning around and started heading off again.

Jennifer smiled happily before turning around and made her way to her locker and started to pack the rest of her books and belongings in her backpack. But all of a sudden a hand shot out and slammed her locker shut, making Jennifer's eyes widened in fear and flinching from the loud painful sound.

She quickly turned around and was pinned by Henry Bowers. He had a dark look in his eyes and a cruel smirk on his lips. There would be no doubt that Bower's buddies were nearby somewhere watching with a smirk of their own. His buddies included Victor Criss, Peter Gordon, Patrick Hockstetter, and Reginald "Belch" Huggins. Out of all of them besides Henry, Patrick Hockstetter scared Jennifer the most. There was something awful about him, and Jennifer didn't want to find out what secrets he was hiding.

Jennifer couldn't help but start to tremble in fear as Henry stared down at her, "me and you gotta have a chat retard..." Henry said as he grabbed the front of Jennifer's overalls and shoving her roughly against the hard metal lockers.

_To Be Continued._


	2. Knight In Shining Armor

A/N: (Revised: 5/19/2020)Here's the next chapter! I know a small number of people start following this and are interested in it, but the little number seems so big for me because I am always scared about my writing, so seeing followers is a massive motivator for me. So thank you all again!

**Side Note:** Amy Renee's face claim is Sherri Moon Zombie and Micheal Renee is Nicolas Cage.

_If you want to follow my Tumblr blog for all things IT and my oc Jennifer with edits and asks questions about her it's called we-all-float-ocs or my other oc blog called guardiansofheroes._

Warnings: This will not be a family-friendly story for obvious reasons, there will be gore, death, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, child abuse, homophobia, and suicide. I put a trigger warning like down below before any chapter warning what it will entail so, please be warned before reading.

!Trigger Warning!:

Offensive Language

* * *

Jennifer felt like a trapped animal, trying to glance around to find someplace to escape but Bowers grip tightening around her overalls, pulling her closer to his face, sending her a message of thinking otherwise.

"Wouldn't try that if I were you dipshit" Bowers snarled as he lifted Jennifer off the ground by her overall straps, her back slamming against the locker.

Jennifer let out a whimper as she stared into Henry's eyes in pure fear while her heart started to pound hard in her chest. She wondered if he was finally going to confront her about her mother Amy.

Jennifer's mother Amy was a 'special' kind of mother. Before Derry Amy worked nights at a stripper to put food on the table and help keep a roof over her children's head, only having a small drug problem. While her father, Micheal, was a deadbeat abusive drunk. Something he got along with Oscar "Butch" Bowers, their next-door neighbor.

Jennifer lived next to the Hanlon family but unfortunately lived closer to the Bowers family. Even though Butch was the sheriff of the town he took quite an interest in Jennifer's mother...getting her dad so hammered so he wouldn't be up to know that Butch was banging his wife. Amy was all for it since Butch was a man of the law it made it easy for her to get a fix and out of trouble. Not even caring about the fact that he was dating a woman named Rena Davenport.

"A certain slut keeps coming around my place...screwing around with my old man," Henry said with a sneer. Jennifer's body tensed up as she looked at Bowers with wide eyes, body trembling. She was too scared to even speak a word.

"Answer me retard, or you'll have to-" Henry started to threaten when a sudden, unexpected voice yelled out to him.

"Leave her a-alone B-B-Bowers!" An unexpected but familiar voice called out.

Jennifer's eyes snapped over in surprise while Henry quickly turned his head to see who dared get into his way. The person who dared was Derry's stuttering kid, Bill Denbrough who was staring down Henry Bowers with a clenched fist. Standing beside him on one side was Richie Tozier and Stan Uris, on his other side was Eddie Kaspbrak.

Eddie looked like he was about to pass out, face was pale while he was taking hits off his inhaler while Stan looked fearful and uncomfortable just like Richie.

" Yeah, Bowers do you get kicks on picking on someone more girly than you?" Richie spoke up putting a grin on his face trying to hide behind his fear. Always using his mouth to get himself in trouble.

But then all of a sudden Richie's backpack was grabbed from behind and was yanked hard into Stanley, both boys stumbled onto the hard floor. Richie's glasses fall off his face, when he went over to reach for them, Victor Criss came over and kicked them away with a sick grin, Peter Gorden coming up beside him.

Belch then came up behind Eddie and let out a huge burp into the smaller boy's face, making him flinch away and gag slightly from the reaction of the smell. Another member of Henry's gang, Patrick Hockstetter, grabbed Stanley's yarmulke off his head, ignoring his protests.

"Nice frisbee flamer," Patrick said with a cruel laugh while Stan tried reaching up for it desperately while Richie's eyes were squinting and trying to find his glasses on the floor

" Give it back!" Stan protested as he stumbled onto his knees and getting up from the ground but Patrick and the others laughed when hr threw it into one of the full garbage cans. Bill looked back at Bowers who was laughing while Eddie crouched down and helped Richie with his glasses.

"You suck, B-B-B-B-Bowers!" Bill shouted out, then the laughter stopped suddenly and a tense chill was in the air. Jennifer stared him shocked, but in admiration as well. Bill was so brave, staring down Bowers, looking like he wasn't phased by Bower's menacing gaze. While Eddie looked up from his spot next to Richie on the floor with wide eyes full of panic.

" Shut up, Bill," Eddie whispered over to Bill in worry, knowing this was about to go south fast. Richie reached over and grasped Eddie's sleeve in worry that Bowers or one of his goons would do something to him. Bowers shoved Jennifer against the locker hard, making her slide down to the floor as he walks over to Bill.

"You s-s-say something, p-p-pussy?" Bowers said, mocking Bill staring the younger boy down with a hard gaze waiting for him to respond as everyone currently in Bill's group and Henry's watches. Bill didn't respond which made Bowers and his goons snicker in response.

" Yeah, thought so. You only got a free ride this year because of your little brother. But the ride's over, Denbrough..." Bowers said as he reached out to grab him, making Bill's friends flinch and tense up in fear in what was about to happen, but nothing came. Jennifer and the others noticed that Bower's figure froze looking out into the hallway and seeing no other than his father, wearing his police uniform. He was standing outside one of the classroom doorways with his arms crossed. Bowers's eyes glanced back at Bill and took a step back.

"This summer's gonna be a hurt train, for you and your faggot friends..." Henry warns as he licks his own hand and slides it down the side of Bill's face before he turns around and heads off in the opposite direction of them, his goons following him to make way towards Victor's vehicle that was outside.

Bill and the others turn their heads over to the hallway and saw Butch turn around, focusing his attention on the women walking out with tears in her eyes and trembling. It was Betty Ripson's mother, she was still convinced of finding her daughter in the school after all this time she had been missing.

Jennifer then turned her attention back to the boys, Eddie was taking hits off his inhaler while Richie rubbed his back to comfort him, Stan was fishing his yarmulke out of the trash while Bill was rubbing the saliva off his cheek. His eyes met hers and she quickly looked down at her lap, feeling guilty for causing them all this trouble, even though she was thankful they had stepped in when they did, she wasn't sure what Bowers would have done to her. Jennifer was staring at her lap when she noticed a shadow in front of her, she looked up and saw Bill reaching his hand out to her, offering to help her up.

"Y-You a-alright?" Bill asked softly, giving her a small sympathetic smile but concern in his eyes. Jennifer's heart started to beat fast while she gazed into Bill's eyes and shyly reached out taking his hand with a small nod. As Bill helped pull Jennifer, she decided to speak up and not wanting to seem rude to him like she had been earlier.

"...Thank you for your help..." Jennifer saw softly as she gazed into his eyes until suddenly she heard a sudden voice, her head quickly turning over and looking at Richie as he stood beside Eddie and Stan, mouth agape.

" She does fucking speak!" Richie said with awe until letting out a pained grunt when Eddie elbowed him in the side. Eddie was scowling and giving Richie a warning look while Stan rolled his eyes.

"Beep Beep Richie," Stan muttered towards him, giving him the same warning look Eddie was giving him, while Bill shook his head with a sigh and gave Jennifer an apologetic look.

"Sorry about Richie...he doesn't have an off switch, unfortunately..." Bill apologized sheepishly, letting go of her hand.

"What did I say? I'm just saying I knew she wasn't mute!" Richie protested with a soft huff and pouted, crossing his arms. But Jennifer couldn't help but smile and let out a small giggle, making Richie's eyes lit up slightly and a proud grin went instantly on his lips.

"It's okay, I just prefer not talking...I can't hear well" she explained with a small smile as she gestures towards her hearing device.

* * *

After her simple explanation and introduction, Jennifer decided to walk out of the school with the group of boys.

"So, What do you guys have planned for tomorrow?" Eddie asked as they had made their way over to their bikes.

" Starting my training of course!" Richie piped in cheerfully as Stan rolled his eyes while Jennifer looked confused.

"Wait, what training?" Eddie inquired with furrowed eyebrows.

"_Street Fighter_ of course!" Richie replied excitedly with a proud grin.

"...What's _Street Fighter_?..."Jennifer asked in confusion which in turn made Richie let out a dramatic gasp.

"Excuse me?!" Richie asked with wide eyes "My dear gal, you and I need to have some time together" Richie stated in his obnoxious British accent as he wrapped an arm around Jennifer's shoulders, but before he could begin Eddie's voice pitches in quickly.

"Seriously?! Is that how you wanna spend your summer? Inside an arcade?" Eddie asked incredulously.

"Well, it beats spending it inside of your mother!" Richie said with a laugh raising his hand for Stanley to high five it, which in turn made him yank it down looking at Richie in annoyance as Eddie started bickering at him.

"G-guys!" Bill stuttered, calling out making them stop in there tracks and turned their attention towards him.

"We h-have to go to the barrens, remember?" he said as he walked past them towards his bike.

Jennifer looked at the other boys and frowned softly seeing their tense expressions and felt that the one playful mood had changed. She didn't think it was her place to push herself into their plans but for whatever reason, she had a feeling it was about Bill's dead little brother.

"Right the Barrens..." Eddie murmured quietly as he rubbed his arm uncomfortable as the others headed towards their bike as well.

"Hey! Where's your bike?" Richie asked her as he got on his.

"...Oh...mine broke..." Jennifer admitted while glancing away and by broke she really meant Bowers running over it with Victor's car on purpose.

"D-Do you need a ride home?..." Bill asked her kindly, looking at her.

Jennifer was surprised...riding a bike sure got her home a lot faster than walking but Bowers lived next to her so she would rather not have Bill or the others get hurt because of her.

"Well I just need a ride into town, I need a few things at the store...but I don't want to be a bother," Jennifer said with a shy smile.

"I-I don't mind..." Bill reassured with a smile.

Jennifer thanked him with a bright smile and got on the back of Bill's bike, arms wrapping around him with a faint blush.

"Hi-Yo Silver Away!" Bill shouted out as he started pedaling with his friends. The wind blowing through Jennifer's small curls while she was smiling brightly.

Maybe this wouldn't be a total loss of summer after all...

_To Be Continued._


End file.
